GOMENASAI
by thunderbird5
Summary: It was the night before Christmas. Somewhere someone needed a friend and little did John know that he would gain a friend himself. GOMENASAI means i'm sorry. Thank you to my beta who had helped me with this story.


It was the night before Christmas but it was the last thing he cared about right now. One of the many computer systems on the station was acting up and John couldn't figure out which one it was. To pass the time John decided to manually check each of the consoles, it was the only way to find the fault. The automatic diagnostic was unable to detect the problem.

"Calling International Rescue, calling International Rescue please, can anyone hear me?"

Jumping up from under one of the many consoles on Thunderbird Five, John was at the radio in two steps. Sitting down and opening the link to the caller, John wondered what kind of rescue this would turn out to be. "This is International Rescue, what is your emergency?" 

For a few moments the young voice John had heard a few seconds before didn't answer. John listened for a moment and then he heard it. Someone was crying, hurting real bad by the sound of it. "Ma'am?"

John could hear something shift and then someone sniffled. "Please get me out of here, I'm scared and can't get out, I can't find my way out of here." 

Looking to one of the monitors, John found that the caller was calling from South Africa. "Can you tell me where you are and what happened?" 

Again John could hear the young woman move. "Well, I'm in JHB, I can't tell you much about the place or what's around me, I'm blind." 

Entering JHB on the keyboard in front of him, John found that JHB was short for the city of Johannesburg. "Are you in the city center? I know that you said you're blind, but can you tell me where you were heading?"

The young woman stopped moving about and went silent for a few moments. "Well, I had been with a friend in her flat, she left me to go get something for Christmas from the store a few minutes ago. Her flat's in the city center on the tenth floor of a twenty-floor block of flats."

John could hear the sound of metal creaking somewhere in the background and knew that something was going to give. Not wanting the poor woman to panic, John softly asked, "What's your name?" 

Pulling the radio closer to herself the woman answered, "Ellen, my name's Ellen." 

Smiling, John answered, "You can call me John." Pinpointing the radio signal, he asked, "Ellen, do you know what happened? Was there an earthquake?" 

Feeling something shift nearby on her left, Ellen pulled her legs up until they bumped against the radio. "No, no I don't know, one moment I was sitting in my friend's lounge listening to the TV and then I just felt this vibration and then I fell. Please get me out of here, John!" 

Activating the link to Tracy Island, John smiled and hoped that Ellen would at least hear it in his voice. He wanted her to feel safe. "Just stay right where you are, Ellen. I'm going to call my buddies to come get you out, okay?" 

Feeling fear closing in on her, Ellen couldn't stop a sob from escaping. "Please don't leave me here!" 

It broke John's heart each time someone begged him not to leave them alone. He wished that he could reach out and save each and every caller himself. "I'm not going anywhere, Ellen, I promise, I'll be right here. I'm just going to tell my buddies about where you are and get them to come get you out of there, okay?"

Hearing a soft "Okay" from Ellen, John switched over to Tracy Island, hoping they would be in time.

Down in the once-tall apartment block Ellen wondered what had happened and if she'd ever get out of there alive. She wanted John to return, to tell her that everything was okay, that she would be rescued soon.

It felt like hours to Ellen. The creaking of metal and the crumbling walls and stone were the only sounds Ellen could hear. She nearly cried with joy when John's voice returned to her. "Ellen, you still with me?"

Hugging the radio as if it would let John know that she was so happy to hear him again, Ellen gave a watery smile. "Yes, yes I'm still here, are they coming?"

John smiled softly as he watched the dots on one of his monitors move; they were Thunderbirds One and Two blasting off to go save Ellen and whoever else may have ended up trapped in the block of apartments. "Yes Ellen, they're on their way to come get you. It won't be long now, then you'll be safe again, you hear?"

Ellen couldn't stop the tears that were now running down her dusty face. "I'm sorry John, I'm sorry." 

Confused, John asked, "What are you sorry for?"

Brushing the tears away, Ellen sniffled. "I lied, I lied about my friend. I don't have a single friend where I live. I…I was rejected."

Even more confused, John wondered what on Earth was going on with Ellen. "Rejected by whom, and why?"

Turning her head away from the radio, Ellen found herself choking on the words that were so hard to say. "My mother, my mother rejected me out of anger. She told me to leave, to never return home ever again."

Shocked, John watched the monitor showing Thunderbirds One and Two's progress. John knew what it felt like to keep everything bottled up inside, how it felt to look people in the eye every day telling them that everything was fine, when things weren't fine at all. John remembered how he'd felt after talking to someone, how it felt to have everything out in the open. Getting Ellen to talk about her problems might make her feel better and help the time to go by faster. "Would you like to tell me what happened, Ellen? That is, if you want to talk about it."

Ellen didn't know why she'd started to talk to John in the first place. So many people had stabbed her in the back after promising her that they wouldn't tell anyone her secrets, that they'd keep it all to themselves. Even now that she was in her twenties she feared what might happen if she trusted someone else with her stupid problems. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything to you."

Something told John that many times Ellen had trusted someone with her secrets, and many times someone had broken that trust, causing her to keep it all inside. "Ellen, listen to me. I know that you're scared to talk about things that you think you're not supposed to talk about, but if there's one thing we've learned over the years, it's that once you make a promise to someone, you keep that promise. If you break that promise, it will take years before that person will ever trust you again. I'm here for you, and I'll listen. And International Rescue doesn't break their promises."

Such kindness in the voice of this stranger, trying to rescue her heart and mind even as his buddies were on their way to rescue her body. Ellen couldn't take it anymore, and so she shamelessly cried. Somehow she managed to force herself to stop. When she knew that she had calmed enough to talk, she poured out her heart. "It all began a few years ago. I had just finished college and ended up back home with my mother and father."

Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, Ellen took a deep breath. "My family had started this new business with some friends of theirs. Everything went well for a few months until my mother caught one of their friends stealing. The business wasn't making any money, and so when she caught this one friend of hers, things started to go downhill from there."

Sitting back in his chair, John remembered a time when something similar had happened to his own father. "What did your mother and father's friends do when they were caught out?"

Feeling the floor shift under her body, Ellen wondered if she was going to fall down even further. "Well, they got even worse, they started spreading rumors that would make you cringe. I don't know what they told people around them, but it was enough to make people turn their backs on my family and look the other way."

John shook his head. People such as these supposed friends of Ellen's family destroyed other peoples' lives doing things like that. "Where does your rejection come into all of this?"

Sighing softly, Ellen went silent before answering, "Well, you could say that my family was getting tortured by them, they stressed more, they had more fights, yelling and so on. Then one afternoon just after lunch it happened."

Again Ellen went silent. John could hear as her breath hitched a few times. "Take your time Ellen, I'm here."

Kicking her legs out, Ellen heard a stone hitting some metal. "My mother and father's friend came, came to our kitchen door like a monster of darkness. He banged his fists on the door and yelled and started swearing at us. I had been doing the dishes when my mother got up and started swearing back at him."

Rubbing at her ears to get rid of those words, Ellen went on. "Everything started fading around me. Everything became jumbled up, I couldn't hear, I couldn't feel, I didn't feel like I could move an inch even though my feet had moved me over to my mother."

John felt his hands curling into fists. He detested what things like this did to people who were innocent. "Did he leave after that?"

Curling herself up around the radio, Ellen found herself crying again. "Yeah, he left. The house had gone silent again, mother was still standing at the door talking to herself. That's, that's..."

Now shaking with every sob, Ellen choked out, "Mother turned to me and asked if I would be a witness, if I would help her to fight them. I…I said no before I could stop myself. So she started yelling at me. She told me that I'm like them, that I didn't care about the words the guy had said to her, the names he called her. The more I tried to explain how it felt to me, how I completely blacked out and don't remember what the man yelled, the angrier Mother got."

Pushing the radio away from herself just a bit, Ellen wrapped her arms around her body. "I had gone to my room to call a friend to talk, you know? Mother came down the hall after me and told me to get out of the house, to take my things and get out of her life, that she didn't want to see my face in front of her ever again!"

Rubbing her arms, Ellen hiccuped. "Mother told me that I'm not her daughter, that I'm selfish. I'm sorry John, I'm so sorry. I had packed my things and thought about ending it, you know. Why should I live when my life has been hell? Just let me die, John."

Tears of anger and frustration sprang to John's eyes. How someone could do this to a person so vulnerable as Ellen, John didn't know. How someone could act this way toward their own daughter, he couldn't even fathom. "Ellen, Ellen, listen to me. You didn't do anything wrong as far as I can tell. Your mind shut itself off when that man came to your door, probably to protect you from your fears. I'm sure your mother didn't mean what she said. You're young and you have your whole life in front of you."

Shaking her head, Ellen softly spoke. "I left that day John, I left and came to this city. I left everything I loved behind: my cat, my little love bird, my hamster, everything."

Looking to the monitor which held the status of the Thunderbirds, John found that they were at the Danger Zone already. Confirmed when Scott called in, "This is Mobile Control to Thunderbirds Five and Two, I have a plan of action worked out for search and rescue."

"Mobile Control, FAB," Virgil replied.

John muted the mic to Ellen before replying, "Mobile Control, FAB." He then unmuted the mic and said, "Ellen, my buddies are looking for you now, okay? They'll find you and get you out of there, do you hear me?"

Shifting herself, Ellen felt the ground give a bit. "Do you have any idea how much it hurts, John, do you have any idea what it feels like living in a lie, not knowing who to trust, getting used by others, damaged for life? I've been picked on at school by kids and teachers, even in all the dorms I've been at. Do you have any idea what it's like finding out secrets which were hidden from you?"

John wished that he could climb straight through the radio and hug Ellen and take all that hurt away. He recalled what Scott had told him about how he'd acted at the tender age of four when their mother died. "Ellen, life isn't fair, believe me. I once lost someone I loved so much. I felt angry, I hated everyone. I thought there was no one I could trust and love again anymore when she died. But I was wrong. I learned over time that I still had someone who loved me, many someones, who would die for me, who would do anything to take the hurt away, who would do anything to protect me from harm. Somewhere there's someone who wants to do the same for you, who wants to be your friend, who wants to take care of you. Don't give up on life just yet, okay?"

Ellen wanted to say something to John but the words went straight out of her head when she heard the sound of metal screeching somewhere. The ground fell away from under her, and grabbing wildly for the radio, Ellen felt her fingers brush against it as it fell away from her hand. "John!"

Ellen calling out to him was the last thing John heard before the radio went silent. He didn't realize that he had keyed his brothers' watches, he didn't even know that he was yelling at them to get Ellen out of there. Everything blurred before him. John was gripping his chair as he waited for a reply from his brothers. Rubbing his eyes to get the blurriness to go away, John heard Ellen's voice calling out to him again. It was spinning around and around in his mind. John nearly jumped a foot into the air when Scott radioed in. "John, we're working as fast as we can. Who's Ellen?"

John felt a bit ashamed for the way he was reacting; his father had taught all of them not to get too attached to the callers. "Scott, I'm sorry. It's just…she's the woman who called for help. She fell when I was on the line with her."

John listened to Scott ask their brothers if they'd found anyone yet. Hearing them answer that they had found a few people John asked, "Can you guys ask around if anyone knows a young woman called Ellen?"

John could see the questioning look on his brother's face via the monitor before him. "What? Why do you want to know that?"

Sighing, John answered, "I just want to know that she's okay, Scott. Wouldn't you want to know that if you were up here?"

Before closing the link to Thunderbird Five Scott said, "Okay, I'll ask around and see what I can find, then once this rescue's over, I'll be bringing Brains up to relieve you a few hours earlier than scheduled. You've obviously been up there way too long already."

Shaking his head at Scott, John smiled. "I haven't been up here for too long, you know that. Let me know what you find, okay? John out."

All too soon the rescue was over and John hadn't received any news on Ellen. He didn't know if his brothers had found her alive or dead. While Scott was on his way home John tried a few times to ask about Ellen, but each time Scott changed the subject.

After the debrief Scott informed John that he and Brains were on their way. While packing his things, John thought back to the conversation he'd had with Ellen. He wondered if Ellen was okay, and found himself hoping she was.

When Scott finally radioed in that they were about to dock, John was ready to go back home.

On board the station, John updated Brains on what needed to be fixed or reinstalled and then he quickly helped Scott unload supplies. That done, they said their goodbyes and left the space station.

Back on Tracy Island, John was greeted by the rest of his family. He took the night to get used to being planetside again – gravity being what it was – and then the next morning, went to his father's office to ask if he could go to South Africa to visit Ellen. After a few moments' pause, Jeff agreed to it on the condition that John was gone for no longer than a week.

The flight over to South Africa was a long and uneventful one. First John had to fly from Tracy Island to Auckland, then after resting for the night he flew to Perth in Australia and stayed over for the night. The next day he flew to South Africa. Once he had arrived at the O.R. Tambo International Airport, he found himself a rental car and entered the address on its GPS to take him straight to the Johannesburg Hospital.

Just before John went into the hospital he quickly got his pocket-sized computer out and hacked the records from the building Ellen was found in to get her surname. "Like taking candy from a baby," he said to himself as he got out of the car.

Once inside the hospital, John went to the receptionist desk and told the woman behind it that he was there to visit Ellen Kruger. The phone was ringing off the hook and so the receptionist quickly searched for the name. "Room number 220. Right down the hall you'll find a elevator, take that to the second floor and turn right, her room's right at the end."

John was gone before the receptionist realized what she had just done. Well, at least her being so busy had kept John from having to lie about being a relative. Walking down the hall, John found an orderly and asked him if he could show him the way. Soon John found himself sitting in a chair next to a hospital bed holding onto Ellen's hand.

Her face was pale. John didn't know how badly she was hurt and if she would ever wake up again. Stroking the side of her face, he wondered if he could hack into the hospital records and find out what her condition was. Taking out his small pocket-sized computer again, John easily gained access to the hospital records within a few seconds and found Ellen's medical record. Reading through it, he found that her condition wasn't as bad as he had thought. She only had a bruised back and a badly broken leg which needed surgery to set the bones straight again. Looking at Ellen's face again, John gave a sad smile. "I'm sorry Ellen. I'm sorry that my buddies couldn't get to you before you fell."

Pushing the chair away from the bed as softly as he could, John took her hand and let his head rest on the mattress. All that traveling to get there had taken its toll. Within moments, he fell asleep.

When Ellen woke up for the third time that day, she became aware of a hand holding hers. Lifting her hand which wasn't clasped in the stranger's, Ellen gave a soft gasp as something pulled at the back of it. It felt like there was a needle stuck to the back of her hand. She sighed, it had to be an IV needle. Putting that hand back down, she pulled her other one from where it was being held and felt an arm, a shoulder, and then a head with soft hair. It was a short haircut that felt like that of a man.

Stroking the soft hair, Ellen realized that whoever this person was next to her, cared about her, otherwise they wouldn't be asleep next to her in a hospital room. But who could it be? Nobody she knew had any idea where she was. Certainly her family wouldn't have known this had happened and anyway, her father would never have done this for her. Then who? What man would care at all that she had nearly died?

And that's when she remembered the words John had spoken to her. The sound of his voice so full of caring. Could it be? Could it really and truly be? "John?" she said hesitantly.

Shaking her head, Ellen wondered why John would visit her. International Rescue rescues many people all over the world and John could be in America or London or anywhere. No one knew where they came from. She knew that she was pushing her luck in hoping that this man was the one she'd heard on her radio. He could be someone else who had just felt sorry for her, she didn't really know how he or anyone else could get into her room without permission.

Even in his sleep John knew that voice. Though no longer on a radio, his mind told him it belonged to Ellen. Opening his eyes, John felt someone stroking his head. Lifting himself up off the side of the bed, he looked at Ellen and smiled. "Yes, it's me."

Holding out her hand to John, Ellen felt him taking it in his once more. She couldn't believe it, here she was in a hospital room with one of the guys from International Rescue. She didn't know if she should cry or hug the guy. There were so many questions she wanted to ask him. If she could have gotten out of the hospital bed and danced around like a kid in a toy store, she would have done just that. It was the best present she could ask for this Christmas: a friend. "Where did you come from, why come from wherever it is you guys come from to visit me out of all the people you've rescued?"

"Well, I can't tell you where I come from or how I got here. However, sometimes we visit someone in the hospital just to see how they're doing. You're one of the lucky ones getting a visit from one of us today."

Ellen really wanted to give the guy a hug to thank him for coming all the way to check up on her, but the medication that she was on was making her sleepy. "Thank you, John, thank you for caring about me, for listening to me ranting and crying, for being there for me when no one else cared. Thank you for becoming my friend."

Something told John that he and this woman who'd needed IR's help so badly would become great friends, and he was glad he'd decided to make the journey to see her. To show her that not everyone in the world was going to hurt or use her. She'd already fallen asleep again thanks to the drugs pumping through her system, but John held her hand close to his heart and whispered, "You're welcome. I made a promise to you, didn't I?

In her sleep, Ellen smiled.

****

Epilog

One month had passed since Ellen had spoken to John on her radio and got a visit from him a few days after she was rescued from her flat. When she had woken up late that afternoon in the hospital, she found that John had gone. Right next to her she had found a piece of paper and when she asked one of the nurses to read it for her, they read his name and a phone number she could call to reach him. At the bottom of the page it said. "PS. Don't worry about the costs when you call this number, it's already paid. Merry Christmas."

Ellen kept the number safe and when she got to leave the hospital a few days after that, she found out that she and a few other people would get temporary housing until their flats were rebuilt.

Ellen decided to call her mother and talk to her about what had happened. Her mother begged her to come home, to forgive her for the horrible words she had said to her. She said she would do anything to have her little girl home again, but Ellen wasn't ready to go back to her old home just yet.

While waiting for the new flats to be rebuilt she kept in contact with John, updating him about what was happening at the temporary flat she was sharing with another disabled woman. Ellen told him everything, including the conversation with her mother and her decision not to return home. It made Ellen feel good inside, knowing that she had someone to trust and talk to.

For John's part, he enjoyed Ellen's phone calls. They would talk for hours on end sometimes, and he would always smile when he heard her voice. It was much happier than the first time he had heard it. And, he thought, this was probably the best Christmas gift anyone could receive: a true friend.


End file.
